Sex Month: We've Been Horny For 30,000 Years

Hi Cliffany, in today's episode, join Tiffany & Biffany for the LAST episode of Sex Month (insert crying shitting and throwing up emoji here but also fire emoji, nails emoji, and knife emoji) where we discuss the 30,000 year history of sex toys as well as two pretty lame lists about what heterosexual people find sexy.

Today's SENSUAL cameos include:

• Shit getting weird in 500 BC
• Us living for the Ancient Greeks being FREAKS
• Humans having a propensity for shoving other human-like things into our crevices
• Sex toy renaissance of 1300 AD 
• Christ coming and saying “no sex for you”
• Cock rings made out of goat eyelids
• Us complaining about BC & AD and having to live our lives around Christ all the time
• A full haystack coming out of your urethra 
• Francine the sex doll #RIP 
• George Taylor, MD owing us a huge explanation 
• The strap on being invented by a VENTRILOQUIST 
• 1995 being the year of the Pig AND the year of the flesh light 

TLDR:  People have been and always will be horny, but what's important is that people care about their sexual empowerment more than their holes getting filled...but ideally both. Also, heterosexual people are boring, played out, and corny.

In the words of Quill, "Tell me about the twinkle in my eye BEFORE you touch my butt."