OCTOOKY: Scary Stories to Tell Sarah Through the Wall of Her Familial Prison

Hi Stella.

Whatever you do… don’t break into the basement of that old fucking mansion in your culdesac, take the book that is bound in human skin, and then be surprised when reading it kills all your closest family and friends. This is 2023.

Anyway, welcome back to #OCTOOKY! In this episode, Quill and Audrey dive into the movie adaptation of what the American Library Association dubbed 'the most criticized book among parents in the '90s'—Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. If your idea of a good time is listening to two queens summarizing the plot of a movie badly and out of order, then this is the episode for you. Subscribe today for 20% off your next Viagra order with code #AmericanLibraryAssociation.

Now that we’re all confused, here are some cameos:

• Being jealous of the walkie-talkie vibes of the 60s - we were robbed 
• A DEVASTATING  pierrot outfit, worn by a barely pubescent, sexually ambiguous 12-year-old boy 
• Spiders crawling out of your cystic acne
• Auggie hating his mom and toes, generally
• Jocks taking their rage out on skin-covered scarecrows 
• Religious trauma turning the DUFF into jailbait
• An ethnically ambiguous but pasty psych ward patient slow-walking towards a sticky embrace #thatfrockisdirty 
• Moving further into the house towards the danger instead of getting the fuck out of the house #whitepeoplethings
• Me-Tai-Do-Tee-Walker
• Omg was Sarah not the bad guy?